Misner in "Paradise"

I am SOOO creepy.

2009-12-13T23:49:00.000-08:00

Okay i'll say it: I want to touch Lily Allen. Ahah. She is a pretty girl. I like pretty girls...

Star struck?

2009-03-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

Last night Michelle Clunie came through my line. I wanted to tell her that I thought she was great in Queer as Folk, but I realized all the scenes I remembered her in were sex scenes. Maybe this is because the show was on when I was a closeted hormonal teenager. Who knows. Anyway I didn't say anything because I felt like mentioning the show was the same as saying, "Hey I've seen your boobs!" annnnd that made me uncomfortable. Yeah.

She is very pleasant though. One of my favorite cougars... mmhm.

I am in love!

2009-01-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

As a rule I try to steer clear of processed food, anything with a shelf life, blah blah... BUT ... I am in love. hahah.

Seriously... I am in love with Trader Joe's Organic Vegetarian Chili. I am not blogging this because I work there and want to push product... nay, nay.

It is the most happy thing to hit my taste buds in years. I have been eating it for lunch all week. A bowl of chili and some organic unsalted tortilla chips... and you have my version of heaven.

That is all.

Old men want my shit until they find out how old I REALLY am.

2009-01-30T11:29:00.001-08:00

Okay, so, this is something that happens to me on a daily basis at work.

Now, I am a decent looking girl. I am a decent looking girl who happens to be very gay... and look very straight. So, it is not unusual for me to get attention from guys.

HOWEVER ... Lately it has been men ranging from about 40-65... AND they think that I'm underage. That is completely horrifying.

Yesterday I was working and this guy was like "I have to tell you, you look much younger than I think you really are..." OK WHAT? He goes on, "I would even say you could pass for 14 years old" UHMMM... my response was "Well, that is 11 years younger than I really am so I guess that is quite the complement." Totally unimpressed. He turned bright red, took his food and left. I'm guessing he assumed I was about 18 or so. Cute. This stuff happens a lot. It is getting creepy.

I wish women would jump on the bandwagon... Anyone who knows me, knows I have a soft spot for older women... alas... I only get the guys.

Anyway I just needed to vent about that because It has become a huge joke amongst my co-workers.

I just keep telling myself in 10 years I will be glad I look so young.

I won't eat you Bean Star.

2009-01-16T15:27:00.000-08:00

Today my cat (Bean) and I watched some educational Peta videos. I think they upset her very much because she has been laying in the same spot since... and didn't even want to play laser pointer (her favorite game) Grouchy cat loves chickens. I love chickens too Bean.

wow. berries.

2009-01-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

I have food poisoning. The horrible kind you only read about on google forums.

I'm crapping blood.

Sorry for my lack of subtlety. I am miserable.

What have I learned?

Pesticides are no joke.

Berries should be organic and washed a million times over.

Don't eat the berries at Yogurtland on 3rd & La Brea.

Funny ladies.

2008-09-09T12:20:00.001-07:00

I went to see Bridget Mcmanus at the Comedy Store the other night. She was the funniest person there. We took pictures with her.... She tried to kick me in the head during her set... It was overall a good time.. I think I will go see her again on my birthday. That is all.

I miss my straight man posse.

2008-08-31T20:34:00.000-07:00

I want a lesbian posse.

I'm not sure why exactly... Back home I had a... straight man posse? Me and ma boys.

Whatever. I'm taking applications for my lesbian posse. Seriously. lol.

I need to stop watching TV

2008-08-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

Sooo second post today. I'm setting high standards for myself.

Just watched Fast Food Nation. Because I have no life.

It made me sick.

I think I am going to have to go back to eating only birds and fish. sigh.

I love cake. I want to eat it all the time.

2008-08-30T19:40:00.000-07:00

Every morning I wake up to the sound of a really loud air conditioner. It's my neighbors I guess. In my half sleep/tard confusion I'm like "ohmygod it's raining?!?" hahahhhh. It wasn't.

I went to the movies today with my BFFFFFF F. riiight. We saw "House Bunny" ? I think. It was the most heterocentric movie I have ever seen. hahah. It was horrible.

These girls spend the whole movie trying to get boys to like them...there was even a little dykie one that got a make over from the playboy bunny and then loved cock.

Note to Self: Stay away from playboy bunnies.... bunnies are bad.

On the way home I saw a green hunchbacked goblin breast feeding a baby doll on the sidewalk. There was a tip jar so I gave it a dollar because honestly...it was the most fucked up/amusing thing I've seen since i moved here.

on a side note I have to say this...I have a star of David tattoo on my arm. And not one day has gone by since I got it that i don't have some bizarre encounter because of it. Seriously for the past two years. Weird shit. so I'm just going to share my favorites every time i blog.

Tattoo encounter of the day:

some Asian guy walks up to me and hands me a Jesus pamphlet and walks away yelling "Shalom, Shalom" in my direction.

yeah. well. I'm hungry. Food now.

I'm not even Jewish even...

2008-08-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

So my sinus infection turned into an ear infection....ahahahhah.

I had to go back to the doctors office from hell.

Some guy who looked all cracked out... he... pointed at my star of david tattoo and said... "I love Challah. Thats fucking good shit right there."

I had to laugh. It was amazing. Shit like that happens to me all the time.

It's a good way to meet people I guess. ahhhh gawd. whatever. Los Angeles is boring. I need friends.

Hollywood is dirty.

2008-08-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

I was really worried about getting sick in L.A.
Me=NO insurance.
I must have jinxed myself because currently I have a sinus infection that just a few days ago made me wish for death....
After going to the sketchiest doctors office in Hollywood--
No equipment made after 1984 (at least in my lifetime, right?)
I think they were stealing cable?
An exam room the size of my closet.
Anyway, whatever I was "near death" and needed antibiotics so badly that I would have traded my first born to get them.
This old Jewish doctor walks in asks me if I'm pregnant then prescribes me antibiotics and codeine for the pain. I was so happy I might have cried a little.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the midst of all this sickness I did manage to accomplish a lot.

I bought a car--2005 Honda Civic. with only 18500 miles on it. bizare.
Made two trips to Ikea. May I never return.
Bought a matress from a really nice, sketchy guy
Ooh, and learned how to use a dishwasher.

Life is good but, I miss my Boston people.

I'm cracked out on medication, excuse this whole post.

This is the beginning...

2008-07-31T06:01:00.000-07:00

...of the rest of my life? I have no idea.

What I do know:

I am not spontaneous...enough.

Surprises annoy me.

Look up creature of habit in the dictionary. You will see my face next to the photo of sea turtles. (Don't be confused, I am in fact the one on the left.)

----

For all these reasons, no, in spite of these facts...I decided to move across the country.

This blog will:

chronicle my experiences

be that pillow you are supposed to scream into when everything is going wrong

hold more good experiences and memories than bad.

hopefully in the end prove that when all is said and done, this was not the worst decision of my life so far.

This is the beginning.